Yours
by JessicaRenae
Summary: It's amazing how one insignificant thing can finally collapse a house of cards.  Steph reflects on the changes happening around her life.    Older story... marking it complete.


**Disclaimer: Sadly none of the characters are mine... ****I**** just get to enjoy playing with them for a little while. **

**Thanks goes out to Rach (Jamie's Babe) for all your help on editing... Lord knows**** I**** couldn't have done it with out you and all you verb tense help!**

**Yours**

I sat quietly in the sand, watching the sun set before me. I'm supposed to be at the church right now, rehearsing for the big event tomorrow but I can't bring myself to go. Lula will understand; she won't be happy about it, but deep down she gets it. It's too painful.

It's still hard for me to believe Tank and Lula are finally tying the knot. Lula isn't used to being handed happiness, she has to make it happen for herself, but this time there was no trickery, no struggle to get Tank down the aisle. He loves her, plain and simple, and he wants to make her dreams come true.

Life is finally going smoothly for my friend while my life seems to be crumbling to pieces. It's amazing how one insignificant thing can finally collapse a house of cards. One word, one look or in my case, one song.

I hadn't even had time to have a cup of coffee this morning before Lula was banging on my front door.

_"White girl, I need your help. Tankie and I can't decide on what song we're going to dance to and the wedding's tomorrow. What am I suppose to do?" Lula asked as she was quickly working herself into a full blown panic attack. She dumped a stack of CDs onto the coffee table. I poured two cups of coffee, adding cream and sugar before joining her. _

_"Let's see what you've got." I said handing her one of the coffee mugs. I sat down next to the CD player waiting to see what she had come up with. Lula loved the whole wedding planning process. She had every detail handled with the exception of their first dance._

_"Well you see none of the music Tank and I listen to would work. So I started looking other places, different genres, wedding forums, magazines. Anywhere I could think of for the perfect song. We got it narrowed down to three and they all seem perfect."_

_"So what songs?"_

_"Well... Hallelujah, Everything I Do, I Do For You and I'm Yours."_

_"The song that the guys on Idol did a few years ago?"_

_"No, not that one... this one by another group."_

_"Okay, let's give them a listen." The first two songs I had heard for years. I couldn't see Tank and Lula dancing to either of them. Hallelujah just didn't seem to fit their personalities. The second held possibilities, but I wasn't sold on it. I could still remember when the Robin Hood movie came out, making Bryan Adams even more popular than he already was at the time. It was one of my favorite movies. I could still picture the scene at the end as the song started to play while the main characters confessed their love for each other and were getting married. _

_Thoughts of the movie reminded me of Ranger; his ability to operate based on a morally right code, not necessarily a legally right code of conduct. While Ranger didn't steal from the rich to give to the poor, he did whatever was asked of him to keep our countries citizens safe; whatever was needed. Lula pulled me out of my thoughts as the song ended._

_"Here put this one in." She handed me a CD for a group named The Script. I had never heard of them and figured the song would be a bust. I quickly found the track she'd requested and leaned back against the chair to listen. As the chords of the song filled the air, I pictured Ranger and me dancing to it during our own first dance, a dance it seemed would never happen in reality. I listened to the lyrics as they were sung, heartache threatening to overcome me. The song came to an end and I forced myself to swallow the lump that had lodged in my throat._

_"That's the one." I said trying to keep my tears at bay._

_"Thanks Steph. I knew you'd make the right decision. I gotta get going, I've gotta get my nails done for tomorrow. Don't forget, rehearsal's at six."_

_"I'll be there." I said trying to give her a smile as I watched her gather her belongings. I followed Lula to the door, locking it behind her. I leaned against the door trying to regain control of my emotions. After an unsuccessful attempt, I slid to the ground and cried._

Ranger's been gone in the wind for a year. Three months ago he was declared missing in action. I still won't allow myself to believe that he's dead, even though each passing day increased the chance that I would never see him again. Tank's been a rock through all of this. He keeps telling me that Ranger promised he'd be the best man at his wedding and he didn't break promises.

After Lula had left this morning I'd thrown on one of Ranger's hooded sweatshirts and sped toward Point Pleasant in hopes of finding solace for my soul.

It was a cool fall day and I knew the beach would be deserted. I'd parked my car, removed my shoes and walked along the chilled sand for an hour before collapsing in the spot I now sat, reflecting. Even the sky echoed my broken heart as clouds loomed over head.

I started thinking back to the night Ranger left. He usually didn't tell me when he was going in the wind but we'd been getting closer.

_I'd been asleep for a couple of hours when I sensed I was no longer alone. I sat up quickly in my bed, switching on the bedside light. He sat, quiet as ever, in the chair I kept in my bedroom. "Ranger, what's wrong?"_

_"Nothing, Babe. Go back to sleep. I just wanted to see you."_

_"You're leaving?" I wanted to ask him more, but didn't want him to think I was needy. He nodded, before coming over to kneel next to the bed._

_"I leave at 0100 hours. I needed to see you before I headed out. Make sure you're safe." He kissed me, one of those bone melting, Earth shattering kisses that left me breathless and wanting more. "I'll be back as soon as I can. Be safe for me. Let Tank know if you need anything while I'm gone." I nodded, afraid that if I spoke I'd break down on him and remind him of why he didn't do relationships. He didn't need a painful goodbye. He needed me to be strong. _

_"Be careful. Don't get shot." I felt his smile as he leaned in to kiss me once more. I inhaled his scent, trying to memorize it._

_"I will, Babe." He gave me one last kiss before heading to the door. I started to get out of the bed to follow him. "Don't. I want to picture you just the way you are." My chest tightened as he settled the covers back around me. "I'll return to you." He turned off the light and headed for the door. I listened to his shoes tread lightly down the hall._

_"I love you, Ranger." I said as the door closed. My heart shattered._

I may never know if he heard me or not.

As the memory replays in my mind, fresh tears fill my eyes. The melody of the song filling my mind once more. Even though I'd only heard the song once, the words had imprinted themselves in my heart, their truth beating me up inside. Ranger was my guardian angel, my best friend. He may have broadcasted the badass image, but his touch was soft as silk when it came to those he loved and cared about.

I'll never forget the day that Tank called and said he needed to talk to me.

_I knew immediately that something was wrong. I fobbed my way into the garage and parked along the back wall. All of Ranger's vehicles were parked in their spots. Everything looked normal. I headed to the elevator, using the remote to access the seventh floor penthouse that was Ranger's private apartment. I was anxious. It was unlike anyone to use Ranger's apartment when he wasn't home and I couldn't understand why Tank had asked me to meet him there. I stepped off the elevator as Tank opened the door. He led me into the living room and sat down next to me. _

_"Steph, I..."_

_"What is it Tank?" I could already feel the tears gathering in my eyes. I could read it on his face, his blank face gone. I could see the pain in his eyes as he tried to form the words to tell me what had happened. A lone tear spilled down my cheek as he spoke again._

_"I received a call this morning from DC. Ranger missed his check point six weeks ago. They've switched his status from active to missing in action." I heard what he was saying but couldn't believe the words that came from his mouth. My world spun and crashed down around me. Missing in action. What did that mean? Were they sending someone to look for him? Tank pulled me to him as I cried. I hated to break down on someone, especially one of the Merry Men. They never seemed to know how to handle it, but Tank was sharing in my pain. "It'll be alright, Bombshell, he promised to dance at my wedding and right now, I'm holding him to it." I nodded, unable to stop the flow of tears to answer him. _

_What if he didn't return? What if I never saw him again? I could never love anyone else. There was no other Ranger. No one could take his place and put me back together again. After a while, Tank let go and headed back to the control room. I stayed in the apartment, needing to feel as close as possible to Ranger. I walked from room to room and finally found myself sitting in his closet floor clinging to one of his hooded sweatshirts like it was a life line pulling me out of the dark, cold water that I was drowning in._

I had spent the next two weeks holed up in his apartment, unable to bring myself to leave. Tank came back to the apartment in attempts to make me snap out of it. I remembered him telling me that this wasn't what Ranger would want for me. He would be pretty upset to find out that I had sheltered myself away from the world while waiting for his return. I had to go on living. Tank had even brought donuts with him, but I hadn't been able to bring myself to eat them. Nothing tasted right. Nothing smelled right. Everything was wrong.

Slowly I'd found my way again. Life wasn't the same without Ranger in it but I'd tried to move on for him. At Tank's insistence, I started working full time for RangeMan running background checks. He said I was a danger to myself while out chasing skips. He was, of course, right. I had attempted to bring in a high bond skip that I'd swiped from the RangeMan stack off of Connie's desk. I'd needed a release. I needed to feel normal or at least feel anything other than lost and alone. I'd set out on my own to bring in David Demetrio who was facing attempted murder charges and, as my usual luck, he wasn't happy to see me when I showed up at his current drinking hole on Stark Street. The take down had to have been a new record for the rate it went from bad to worse. One minute I introduced myself and the next I awoke in the ER getting stitches in my side and wrist. Had Tank and the guys not been following me, things would have been much worse. I would have been seriously maimed if not dead.

A cold breeze causes me to shiver as I realize the sun has finally set. I sit alone, still on the sand, letting the darkness wrap its arms around me. I pull the sweatshirt closer trying to ward off the chill before checking the display on my silenced phone. Twenty three missed calls. I know it won't be long before someone will be here to check on me. That is if someone isn't already watching from a distance. I'm out of tears for the time being but can't bring myself to leave. My heart's not ready to give up hope even if my brain has told it to say good bye. I know my dark knight has to be out there somewhere and I pray once again to God above for his safe return to me.

Rain pelts the ground around me, soaking through my clothes as if the sky's mourning my loss with me. A door shuts in the distance, my time alone quickly coming to an end. As I wipe the last of my tears from my face I whisper, "I love you Carlos, always." I count on the wind to deliver my message to him where ever he may be.

Two strong arms encapsulate me in their warmth, pulling me to them. I feel his warm breath on my neck as he whispers "I love you too, Babe."


End file.
